ara parisien

International Medium & Spiritual Teacher & Author


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Regret

ara let-go4

Regret:  feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).

How many of us live in an almost constant state of regret?

We regret our past actions; we regret our inaction or reticence/reluctance of the past; we regret past communications or lack thereof.  We regret everything we could have done, should have done and would have done if we had been given the chance or mustered the courage.

Do you see the common thread in the regret we feel?  It is all stemming from the past.  We are living a moment in time in our minds that can never be again.  Therefore it cannot be changed at its point of origin.

How do we make the shift from this regret?  How do we let go and move forward?

It is helpful to know that this moment, this ‘right now’ is the only time available to you to make any shift, change or new choices.  It is the only logistical position you have—ever!  Yes, you are able to dwell on the past for as long as you like but the results never change.  All it changes is the way you feel right Now.  And that feeling is never a good one.  Remember that whatever you feel and think in the Now is beginning to unfold as  a reality in your future.

There is a powerful Universal Law of Karma.  It is otherwise known as the Universal Law of Cause and Effect.  It states that whatever you think, do or say, choose or don’t choose (the Cause) will unfold an Effect or result.  If you do not like the results you have been living then it is time to offer a different causal thought/feeling.  Starting Now.

Maya Angelou once said, “When you know better, you do better.”  Do better, right here, right Now.

The first step is to forgive yourself for locking into a self-imposed prison of guilt, regret and ‘if only’.  The prison keeps you mired in the past.  You were meant to soar.  Your freedom is available right Now. Free yourself.  Choose differently, think differently, and trust me, you will begin to feel differently.  You’re worth it! ~ Ara Parisien, International Medium & Spiritual Teacher

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Mea Culpa

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My life story started well before I drew my first breath.  In fact, all our life stories begin the same way.  In the womb.  In the womb we feel and sense joy, angst, resentment, excitement and so much more. It serves to colour our journey, setting in place all the stepping stones our soul requires for evolution during the lifespan.  For some, drawing the first breath came with loving arms, joyful tears and proclamations of undying love.  Not for me. This is not about what I went through but more about garnering an understanding about who I have been and who I am becoming because of an extraordinary woman.  My birth mother.  I am realizing just how much a part of my birth mother I really am and have always been.

Upon my birth I was placed in a foster home under the care of, from all accounts, a foster mother named Debbie.  I was with her until I was 3 mos of age when I subsequently was placed in an adoptive home on Dec.22nd of that same year.  I was considered a Christmas gift to two excited parents but alas was treated more like the gift no one wanted that consistently was kicked into the back of the closet. No one realized that the woman who gave me life was feverishly working to get me back.  It wasn’t to be.

Years went by and I always wondered who my birth parents were, was I anything like them, and why did I like the things I did.  It took 7 long years of searching but I found them.  Foremost in my mind was meeting my birth mother.  I shall never forget the day we laid eyes on one another.  I looked like her.  I stood like her.  I sounded like her.  For the first time in my life I had a frame of reference.  I met her brothers and sister and much to my relief I learned they were all musically inclined—as I was.  The icing on the cake was when we were visiting and one of her brothers went to the piano and began to play.  Another brother went upstairs and immediately returned playing the fiddle as he came back down.  I was riveted to my seat barely able to breathe.  They told me at Christmas they would gather around the piano, playing various instruments and sing carols.  I cried.  I explained to them that ever since I was a little girl I had quite an intense longing for just this very thing and I never knew why.  My questions and quirks were being answered and validated one by one.  I have to say that the feeling of ‘belonging’ was huge.  I no longer felt as if I had been dropped out of the sky and simply landed where I did.  I had roots.

It wasn’t long after meeting my birth mother that I met my birth father.  Again, the connection was strong.  I was deliriously happy in finding out how I happened to be in this life and the genes I carried into it.  But with everything in life there seems to be some sort of honeymoon period.  The shiny newness fades and routine sets in.  When I speak of routine I want to be very clear.  Routine equated to ‘taking people, places and things’ for granted.  This I did.  In spades.

Last night I received a call from my half-brother, my birth mother’s son.  He informed me that my  mother is gravely ill and is not long of this world. She is fighting the good fight but with 19 tumors safely nestled in her brain there is not hope as the doctors believe she may only have 2 – 4 weeks to live.  The news hit like a sledgehammer.  This woman, this incredible woman who carried me, loved me, wanted me and fought for me is leaving.  I would give anything to throw my arms around her and tell her much she has meant to me, even though I didn’t show it very much.  My half-brother suggested a skype call, sooner rather than later.  I have never liked the feeling of a chill going up my spine and I certainly didn’t like the feel of it when I heard his tone.  We soothed one another’s pangs of despair, said “I love you” and hung up.

Instantly I was filled with an anger—an anger with myself.  How could I have let so much time go by!  Why didn’t I keep in touch like I should have! All the ‘would have’, ‘should have’, ‘could have’ thoughts went racing through my mind.  It’s normal but I had to stop myself anyway.  What would/should/could happen is behind both of us now.

It’s an odd feeling to realize when my adoptive mother passed away I never cried.  I felt free.  But my birth mother, whom I have not had a lot of contact with, is crushing me to my very core.  Life is funny.  ‘We’ are funny in so many ways. Could it be that subconsciously, right from the womb and to the point where I was taken away from her that the belief she ‘left me’ has been dormant up until this point?  It would make sense that in her dying I would be crushed that she is leaving me – again. Whatever subconscious thoughts and feelings that have surfaced in the last 24 hours I need to pay attention to them as they are my stepping stones to healing that which has not been serving me. Her situation has afforded me all of that and more.  I will not let her down again.

Much time was spent struggling with the feeling I didn’t deserve to be at her side given I did not demonstrate through the years that I cared very much.  I felt that this time, this precious time of ‘last moments’ were more preserved for those who had been active participants in her life.  I am not quite sure just where the turning point was in my self-talk but I realized being a part of this woman constituted some ‘rights’ to say goodbye.  I have decided to fly out to see her.  This woman gave me life.  The least I can do is love her through this last part of her journey. This strong woman who suffered greatly in life, some of which I am responsible for is about to say goodnight. I will be there. Too little too late? Perhaps.  But it is all I know how to do. When I sit by her bedside and hold her hand, I know shortcomings and guilt will swirl in my mind and may make me feel that arriving during the 11th hour is not enough.  However, I must believe that to a ‘mom’ who has continued to love me anyway over the years, it very well could mean the world.

It is so important to say and demonstrate all you feel while you can and while those we love are still able to appreciate the fullness of it.  Please do not wait to express, dismiss or deny the love you have for another.  It is who we innately are and the bottom line is…it is all we have to give.

I love you all.


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Transformation is a breath away

become Just for today remind yourself that change is the vehicle of transformation. If your life is not the way you prefer–change is the vehicle whereby life transforms. Choices are the trigger of change. Choices are but a heartbeat away which means transformation ultimately is but a breath away. Why not begin your process now. There is nothing grander than living and unfolding life as the beautiful being you were always meant to become.


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Meant to be

meant to be So many times I hear people say, “If it is meant to be, it will be.” To me, nothing could be further from the truth. There is no external power dictating what you may have or do or want or say. There is no external power that determines what will happen. Remember this–‘What will be” is solely determined by the choices you make. It can be no other way. Take responsibility. Be the power you are.